Today (12/20/09) is the winter solstice and it is an absolutely gorgeous day here in Austin, Tx. It is cool, crisp and sunny, a perfect day. Yet, my heart is feeling heavy, with pressure in my chest and waves of sadness surfacing.
A walk in this beautiful day is the best way for me to allow this energy to talk with me, share with me what is going on. Mostly I just feel sad even as I also feel the gratitude and appreciation for such a stunning day. I reflect on the meaning of the winter solstice, a time for going inward, allowing the deep core self to rest and reflect on the lessons of the past year and the dreams of the coming one.
As I walk through parkland, I allow thoughts of my various spiritual teachers to surface, understanding that each thought is bringing me opportunities to explore new possibilities around this heavy energy. The first teacher to come forward is Soleria Green who opened me to the energetic experience of the collective consciousness in a massive way. To recognize the sadness as part of a collective energy that is shifting allows me the spaciousness to be with it, feel it, acknowledge it, and allow it to flow through me as a wave of energy.
Next came Bashar who teaches there are infinite possibilities of infinite parallel universes open to you in every NOW moment extending both backward into the past and forward into the future. It may be hard to wrap our 3D minds around this concept, but when I let go of having to understand it on a mental level and allow the energetic level of understanding to surface I can experience myself moving into a whole new “universe” where the feelings of the previous moment don’t even exist. I play with this often when I’m walking or cycling, opening to the possibility that each step or stroke can propel me into a new NOW moment.
Then there was Ava Brenner (abinsf@comcast.net) who channels a group she calls, “the guys.” One of the things I learned from the guys was that feelings of inner discomfort were often a flag that my known world is bumping up against my unknown world. As this thought crystallized and came together with Soleira and Bashar, I felt myself step fully into a different state of being, where the heaviness no longer felt so much like sadness, as it now felt like the unknown, the collective unknown of the future. And in my world, the “unknown” is not scary. The unknown is actually exciting and full of infinite possibility. With only one or two more steps I shifted fully into this NOW universe that is full of the wonder and delight of uncertainty, which thanks to the teachings of Tom Stone, feels absolutely tied to the expansiveness of pure awareness.